I cannot completely articulate how I feel at the end of these four years. All men have their regrets, and I am not different from them. However, I wish, that I could relive through all my memories, the one with regrets, dismay, triumphs, love and grace. I have a very bad tendency to hang on to things, mostly because at the end, I always realize that things aren't that bad after all. And in truth, they weren't.
I have said to myself, I wish I had done things differently. The choices one makes, and the memories of a person defines him, they are the roots of his identity. And to think about it, I do not want to be anybody else, except myself. These memories are just too precious to exchange. And for that, I thank everyone who has stepped into my life, even if as a tiny blip.
Arrogance - My head is going to explode
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Arrogance is a flawed derivation of the need of mental self-defense against arrogance. Its existence sprouts from its existence, a circular relation. Why must it exist? Why must some people resort to it for self-gratification, for moral subjugation? Why can't people find strength in actions, why must they seek words to fill in their empty lives and to make-up for lost strength of character? Why must violence, be it in words, be socially acceptable?
Allow me to express my disgust over "someones" recent mail which only served the purpose of displaying his @$$holiness and the need for self-gratification, probably arising from abysmally low self-esteem or arrogance probably nurtured by sporadic mental abuse of this poor soul by his parents/masters who turned him into an ugly abomination, a burden on earth and a subject of pity, yet well-deserved spite. I am tempted, to say the least, to spike this wretched accident of nature, result of an unholy act of a couple. The end of his life will alleviate the earth of a substantial fraction of the burden of arrogance. I was about to resort to a more violent verbal rant than what I did a few minutes ago, but pity, the pragmatism and selfishness trampled my idealist inner self for this one time, and I shall be yet another hypocrite to drain the fountainhead of youth.
I am disgusted by the obscene display of his posterior bloated by his brittle ego. A man's ego and his inability to view the truth is directly proportional, and this creature I have talked about is blind as a bat smashing his head against a 10000 Watt bulb, each blow permanently reducing its possibility to regain the power of sight.
.
.
.
Now that I have regained control of my adrenaline, I realize that retaliation or anger is not a solution(in fact it is an accelerating agent), but rather humility and pity, that would quench a man's insecurity.
I have faith, that in time, mankind would be cured of this disease.
Allow me to express my disgust over "someones" recent mail which only served the purpose of displaying his @$$holiness and the need for self-gratification, probably arising from abysmally low self-esteem or arrogance probably nurtured by sporadic mental abuse of this poor soul by his parents/masters who turned him into an ugly abomination, a burden on earth and a subject of pity, yet well-deserved spite. I am tempted, to say the least, to spike this wretched accident of nature, result of an unholy act of a couple. The end of his life will alleviate the earth of a substantial fraction of the burden of arrogance. I was about to resort to a more violent verbal rant than what I did a few minutes ago, but pity, the pragmatism and selfishness trampled my idealist inner self for this one time, and I shall be yet another hypocrite to drain the fountainhead of youth.
I am disgusted by the obscene display of his posterior bloated by his brittle ego. A man's ego and his inability to view the truth is directly proportional, and this creature I have talked about is blind as a bat smashing his head against a 10000 Watt bulb, each blow permanently reducing its possibility to regain the power of sight.
.
.
.
Now that I have regained control of my adrenaline, I realize that retaliation or anger is not a solution(in fact it is an accelerating agent), but rather humility and pity, that would quench a man's insecurity.
I have faith, that in time, mankind would be cured of this disease.
Love
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I am going to plagiarize this one, because I could not have put it in simpler words.
" Whoever said that love is eternal was describing all of creation. Love embraces all existence. But when they added that 'true love' is eternal they allowed the wisdom of love to blow away. There is just love. Neither true nor false. We can be in denial of it. But nothing else would hold the universe together. It is what holds time and space together in a constant, beautiful and playful illusion. It always will. Love is what will forever elude scientists from being able to define our existence. For love is a never ending equation that wraps itself around all of eternity. Bounding in and out of itself and constantly evolving. And will do forever. Love is the song of the universe.
i love you
i love
love "
The Chinese Paradox
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"Chinese Students Protest Against Tibet Media Coverage"
I do not have any problems against Chinese as they have not harmed me in any way. I do not object to their intentions of protecting their unity. Supporting ones nation against any allegation is a right guaranteed to every individual in a just society.
But I do want the Chinese students who protest against the portrayal of the Tibet issue, to compare themselves with their Tibetan counterparts.
I want them to picture themselves when they are trying to protect their nations sovereignty and pride, and replace the word 'China' with 'Tibet'. It is funny that there won't be a difference in appearance as well.
Well, I am asking them to do a very difficult thing. We have never been good at putting ourselves in other people's shoes. And I would like to point out that even India, which boasts herself to be a just and democratic nation is not guilt-free. Even if the stained human-rights record is overlooked, we still have to answer for the arms supply to the dictators in Burma and the apathy(if not something worse) for Sri Lanka's sovereignty. This was the nation of Gandhi, wasn't it?
The Paradox here is that people of Chinese origin who have come to the United States and elsewhere looking for opportunities and economical growth, in other words... freedom, are holding pubic demonstrations against the Tibetan claim of independence.
Read the previous sentence and you will find these words 'opportunities', 'economical growth', 'public demonstrations', 'freedom' put up against independence. I would like to point out, that nothing gives me the right to judge on what is going on in Tibet and China. I have been chronically ignorant of the whole issue and even though I have visited the country I never made an effort to find out what is happening to the people of Tibet from an average Chinese citizen. Hardly gives me any moral jurisdiction here.
But I am not questioning things that I don't know about.
What I know is that people living in a democratic setup are conducting demonstrations, tools of freedom to convey their disapproval of a freedom movement elsewhere.
I might anger any proud Chinese by asking this, but I want to know, doesn't living in United States rob you of that right to protest against a freedom movement. I do not question those who live in China, under the CCP rule who want to protect the integrity of their society.
What better could define hypocrisy than living in a democratic setup, leading a life laden with capitalist opportunities and having the freedom to express an opinion that goes against the principles(at least on paper) of the country you are living in and protesting against a freedom struggle.
Shouldn't your Tibetan counterparts get an equal opportunity to present their case? Rather, shouldn't the Chinese be denied as much opportunity to present their case as were the Tibetans?
Hypocrisy is an undefeated force and I think that will be the case for a long time.
To think about it, what right do I have, as an Indian when I know that the fact sheets do not speak well about my nation as well? What right do Americans have while their armies are occupying Iraq?(Come to think about it, the Chinese demonstrations in America do make sense considering the American occupation of Iraq, they ARE following the policies of their host nation!)
What right does anyone have to tell the other what is right when all of us are unscathed?
All of us are good at pointing fingers at others, and that is because all of us have reasons to be pointed at. But rarely do we ask ourselves of what we do. When our mistakes are pointed at, we question the credibility of the critic.
It is surprising(maybe not), that most complex social, ecological, economical and diplomatic problems have their roots in well-defined small words, stemming from something so abstract and yet so powerful. The human nature.
So what is the solution to this crisis? As bystanders to this situation we cannot do anything except voice our opinion and try to convince aggressors while knowing that we too have wronged in the past. Using force to right a wrong would only result in more wrongs. The only hope we have is when we try to stop ourselves while we are being unfair.
There is no punchline to this post.
All we can do is be a part of the struggle and play our roles, of aggressors, mediators and victims in the hopes that these events make us question our conduct so that we try to change ourselves and hope that a day comes when our existence is not threatened by our existence .
I think I was wrong about the punchline.
Beauty
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Going to the mall always gives me a lot of questions to think about.
"Is she wearing a bra?"
"Do I need juice?"
"Why do females like shopping and talking?"
"Why are these kids so idiotic?"
As important as other questions may seem, I am going to focus on the last one.
Why ARE they behaving like headless chicken? What do they accomplish by performance random acts of... well.. randomness.
It is hard for me to think that I was one of them. (Was I?)
As insane and neurotic as they might seem, they are having one of the few best moments of their lives.. for no good reason.
It would take me a trip to, perhaps Reykjavik, spending nights under a bright blue and green lit sky, freedom to do whatever I want, no monetary, professional or social obstacle to be happy.
Oh yeah and at this very moment a strawberry cake would make me happy too.
But why are they happy, running in an overcrowded store, probably getting hurt in the process.
At first I thought it is because of 'freedom'. Whenever kids appear happy, I guess it is mostly because they are doing whatever random things they can inside the boundaries of their limited capabilities. That is freedom, isn't it? Unless of course they try to redefine freedom later on in their lives by trying to push that limit further.
Or perhaps because of their limited needs.
Or perhaps I am confusing the effect with the cause.
Would you want to revert back to that mental state? Mind you, you don't get to conspire or architect ways to be better than those around you. At least not as much as you can do now. You don't get to have revenge and you can't betray. But most importantly, you lose your grudges and regrets, things that give quite a few of us the purpose to live.
Is that a price too big for happiness?
Beauty is there if you want it to be. It stays somewhere in your mind. Only if you could stop. And uncover it hidden between the moments fleeting by.
But will we take that chance and lose to our innocence?
The pictures above are by LalliSig . You have to see his night pics! Especially this one!
Rain over me
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Today was a beautiful day. It rained.
I do not remember the last time I saw rain. Instead of returning to India for the holidays, I chose to intern in Al-Ain(called the Garden City of UAE).
I have been staying here in the UAE University's hostel for over two months now and have never liked it that much. Don't get me wrong, this place has been good to me but if you are missing the monsoon and are baked intermittently throughout the day, a little bit of resentment towards the place does creep through.
However, that changed today as the rain gods got to work.
The cat however did not appreciate it as much as I did.
Hypocrisy
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"Indian Politicians should be shot dead" reads a facebook status mssg.
It is quite easy to complain, to point out errors and feel helpless, especially if you are an Indian.
"Why the hell did he spend so much on the wedding? Couldn't he give it to the poor?"
Another one of my aquaintances, regarding LK Mittal's expenditure on his daughters wedding.
This is an all too common attitude of hostility towards those in power or those who are rich.
You might say they are right, sit with them in a room, frown along with these fellows and vent out your frustration a little bit on the system(the favourite passtime of an Indian male trying to justify the miseries of life).
I want to ask you, what gives the average man, the champion of the political parties and the star of Gandhi's talisman, this divine right of judgement?
Just because he is average and exists in billions of numbers around the country?
Getting into college has been a very educational experience for me. Sure, learning about Mechanics of Solids has been somewhat satisfying(har har) but i am talking about 'EA117 human nature'.
It has been intriguing to see people slowly moulding themselves into what they are going to become. The personality types slowly being etched out on their demeanor and after awhile you are shocked to see that how different people can be from one another. How their tendencies as children are morphed into their choices and how they evolve rapidly, solidifying their moral demographic profile overtime like a fractal.
This metamorphosis can be best observed in college, when a person sheds his shell of innocence(a false facade in some) as a child, and makes his own decisions. When he becomes responsible for his actions.
Flaws appear, cracks widen and ugliness surfaces. Tendencies which were hidden in the personalities of these people as children, bloom and unfold.
And now, you can see clearly, the puzzle has solved itself... the dirty politicians, the greedy businessmen, the corrupt IAS, everyone.. everyone you can think of, in one small college campus. Another microcosm of society sprouts around you.
I too fall under some demographic or the other, I too am not untouched. But I am not passing judgement on those in power or those with wealth.
On a side note, what is unfortunate is that the person who wants those politicians dead, himself is a person of deceit, a politician in the making, a cunning craftsman of words and the quite an accomplished sadist. Yet, he does not realise these qualities within himself.
Irony far out, isnt it.
So, what am i trying to say here?
Stop Complaining! The society is the way it is because there are people like us. People in power do not drop from mars. They are what we may become. If you ever thought about exterminating politicans.. question yourself, apart from the fact that they are in power, how different are you from them?
How often have you made decisions that do not directly benefit you, and how often have you thought about 'the greater good'?
To those guys who disliked the expenditure of LK Mittal, have you tried to find out how much it takes to sponsor a child for education? Gone to any NGOs?
What about all the Marlboros that you buy, why did you not save it and spent it on some poor kids meal instead?
It is quite easy to be a part of the faceless crowd and find reasons to justify your sloth, greed and disregard of fellow human beings.
Survival CAN be more elegant and more humane that what we make it to be.
But once you get more than to fulfill your needs, what do you choose to do?
"Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely"
Bullshit
Humans are inherently corrupt and power just gives them an oppurtunity to exhibit their animalistic tendencies.
We all are like that. But we are wrong in not recognizing that our individual characteristics combined gives shape to the society, and we are going to carry out roles and do things that we now, as powerless, faceless citizens hold responsible for all the ills of the world.
Blaming a section of the society and not doing anything about it is just an impotent display of hormones that will not get us anywhere as a race.
If you want to find a reason for all the miseries of life, look at yourself and then around you. If you are lucky you will find solutions of the problems tucked beneath your personality and your conduct. And though it may do little or nothing to improve your conditions, as an individual, you will be a part of the solution and not the problem.
It is quite easy to complain, to point out errors and feel helpless, especially if you are an Indian.
"Why the hell did he spend so much on the wedding? Couldn't he give it to the poor?"
Another one of my aquaintances, regarding LK Mittal's expenditure on his daughters wedding.
This is an all too common attitude of hostility towards those in power or those who are rich.
You might say they are right, sit with them in a room, frown along with these fellows and vent out your frustration a little bit on the system(the favourite passtime of an Indian male trying to justify the miseries of life).
I want to ask you, what gives the average man, the champion of the political parties and the star of Gandhi's talisman, this divine right of judgement?
Just because he is average and exists in billions of numbers around the country?
Getting into college has been a very educational experience for me. Sure, learning about Mechanics of Solids has been somewhat satisfying(har har) but i am talking about 'EA117 human nature'.
It has been intriguing to see people slowly moulding themselves into what they are going to become. The personality types slowly being etched out on their demeanor and after awhile you are shocked to see that how different people can be from one another. How their tendencies as children are morphed into their choices and how they evolve rapidly, solidifying their moral demographic profile overtime like a fractal.
This metamorphosis can be best observed in college, when a person sheds his shell of innocence(a false facade in some) as a child, and makes his own decisions. When he becomes responsible for his actions.
Flaws appear, cracks widen and ugliness surfaces. Tendencies which were hidden in the personalities of these people as children, bloom and unfold.
And now, you can see clearly, the puzzle has solved itself... the dirty politicians, the greedy businessmen, the corrupt IAS, everyone.. everyone you can think of, in one small college campus. Another microcosm of society sprouts around you.
I too fall under some demographic or the other, I too am not untouched. But I am not passing judgement on those in power or those with wealth.
On a side note, what is unfortunate is that the person who wants those politicians dead, himself is a person of deceit, a politician in the making, a cunning craftsman of words and the quite an accomplished sadist. Yet, he does not realise these qualities within himself.
Irony far out, isnt it.
So, what am i trying to say here?
Stop Complaining! The society is the way it is because there are people like us. People in power do not drop from mars. They are what we may become. If you ever thought about exterminating politicans.. question yourself, apart from the fact that they are in power, how different are you from them?
How often have you made decisions that do not directly benefit you, and how often have you thought about 'the greater good'?
To those guys who disliked the expenditure of LK Mittal, have you tried to find out how much it takes to sponsor a child for education? Gone to any NGOs?
What about all the Marlboros that you buy, why did you not save it and spent it on some poor kids meal instead?
It is quite easy to be a part of the faceless crowd and find reasons to justify your sloth, greed and disregard of fellow human beings.
Survival CAN be more elegant and more humane that what we make it to be.
But once you get more than to fulfill your needs, what do you choose to do?
"Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely"
Bullshit
Humans are inherently corrupt and power just gives them an oppurtunity to exhibit their animalistic tendencies.
We all are like that. But we are wrong in not recognizing that our individual characteristics combined gives shape to the society, and we are going to carry out roles and do things that we now, as powerless, faceless citizens hold responsible for all the ills of the world.
Blaming a section of the society and not doing anything about it is just an impotent display of hormones that will not get us anywhere as a race.
If you want to find a reason for all the miseries of life, look at yourself and then around you. If you are lucky you will find solutions of the problems tucked beneath your personality and your conduct. And though it may do little or nothing to improve your conditions, as an individual, you will be a part of the solution and not the problem.
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